Mike Shift, January 29th 2062
…………………in the year 2062, Mike Shift recalls some historic marketing snapshots from the good old days………
It’s been a long time. It’s been a long journey.
I witnessed the deconstruction of a capitalist society. I survived the ‘triple-trough’ twenty years depression. I stood in the streets and cheered as the ribbon was cut on Fylde’s very own ‘Hydro-man,’ second only to Sydney’s great 2360ft winged, ‘Hydromida Four.’ I’m getting tired now.
I am Mike Shift. I have 3 daughters. I live in Blackpool. The year is 2062 and I want to share a secret.
It was back in 12’ when I pencilled the breakthrough on the flipside of a paper napkin in what was then, Costa Coffee.
Social media pulls on our human instinct to bond. The instinct to feel popular through numbers, sometimes big numbers. The hugely popular business forum at the time was that old dinosaur, LinkedIn. Quite an innovation and hugely successful in those days. We laugh now with hindsight. How did we all get taken in? Basic instinct even foiled this innocently intended model – the greed for numbers again prioritising over quality. You’re probably nodding at this point. If not, you are feeling a tad uncomfortable with yourself for ‘accepting’ that connection you didn’t really know – just to add an extra point to your tally. Don’t worry, we all did it. Silly us. That’s just how it was back then. LinkedIn almost got it right, setting their capped ‘visible’ limit to 500 connections. We now know that was too high. Despite this, we still all pursed the numbers glory. Evidenced in Linkedin’s own study, on what they referred to as the ‘real referral quantum’ in 14’. Basically, 44% of ‘connections’ transpired to be (as linkedin described) ‘probably unknown. Our quest for self-appraisal still dominated. Excess and greed flirted with us again. Quality and signature relationships were indeed sparse.
In 15’Happy Creative stormed the market with their viral, award winning ‘LinkedIn-it-to-win-it.’ We seized and bottled-up this universal quest for numbers and created a league table for companies to submit their ‘sales by campaign.’ Strict policing ensured fairness and compliance. The beauty lay in its simplicity. This bolted directly onto the existing LinkedIn V3.2 platform. A no brainer for LinkedIn – they just sat back and watched the show. And their numbers rose exponentially. Happy Creative went from strength to strength. We did regret self-enforcing our own position in the tables. Naturally, the Premiership was the place to be seen (or in the US, the ‘world-series’).
Looking back, Happy Creative were communally trapped in the bubble of zero’s. I recall trumping ‘Google’ in Time Magazine’s most innovative brand awards back in 21’. The Sony vs Lenovo wars really ensured longevity though. Sony published their $3bn, 6 month return on the 5D interactive ‘smell screen’ campaign – we couldn’t believe it. It cost us £2m in audit fees just to verify the claims pre-submission. Lenovo responded, naturally. Tip tap! Tip tap! 11 years they held the number 1 and two spots.
In 26’ Karen Lamberet, the then President made our next stratospheric leap. Behind every brilliant campaign, stood a brilliant marketer. This formed our next concept bolt-on. Soon, Philps (Nike), Gordez & Pickeley (Saatchi) were locked head-to-head. This had become both a drivers and constructors championship. For years it played out. When we eventually bought LinkedIn in 31’ we had the whole ‘manic media’ sown up. We let it play out. And then ‘it’ happened.
The crash.
Had we not learned from the excessive spend that thrust us into our previous trough? No. Why? We forgot? Again. This time it was for real. Capitalism degenerated overnight. Money became meaningless and worthless……….
……………58’ was a new birth for a better future. Water was the new currency. It worked. It was wet – but it always flowed. Hydro-this and hydro-that. It flooded our greed and washed away the parasitic human flaw – numbers. It was the purest and most transparent delivery.
Happy Creative amended their pinnacle ‘univers-a-net’ platform with one single shot – and it re-shaped everything. We introduced the ‘intrinsic value quota’ into the tables. In a flash, Sony perished to the 2nd division. The tables were competitive as this model was based on the value and return you got from your investment. A little forgotten abbreviation over the past 5 decades (ROI). Happy Creative even banished their own rules and joined in the fun. We nestled in the premiership from 59’ and haven’t looked back. We offer the most innovative, unique creative, conceptual design for a competitive price – ROI. We cover all digital, strategic and even guerrilla elements of marketing. We do this at a fair price, offering the most value in the market – statistically proven.
Karen, James, Emma, Tom, Russ, Debbie, Marilia, Gareth, Simon and myself have all had our day. We enjoyed it. We did it our way. Any regrets?
Well……….yes…….just a tiny one.
If I had known what I know now, that little column on the end may have made everything a whole lot different. Have I learnt anything? Yes, of course. If you’re looking at a potential agencies wondering if they can facilitate a good ROI for your next campaign – make sure you look closely at the correct column. Take your time and study wisely. And of course, connect to Happy Creative – it’s your future.
